Dealing with the emotions and logistics behind child support payments can be a loaded proposition, which is why Rick and Jana Craft decided to pen this thank you letter to their local child support services office for all of their help over the years.
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September 13, 2014
Kern County Department of Child Support Services
Bakersfield, CA 93301
Dear Kern County Child Support Team,
You probably don’t get that many thank you letters. In fact, you probably get very little recognition, appreciation and pats on the back for the work that you do such as establishing paternity, locating parents to enforce payment of child support, establishing and modifying child support court orders, and collecting and distributing child support payments. None of these things seem easy to do, either functionally or emotionally.
You’re probably overworked and underpaid; frayed and overwrought on a regular basis. I can only imagine the grief you take on the phone and in person from parents who aren’t paying or parents who need payment. I’m sure you deal with budget cuts, lack of staff, an overabundance of case files, and system glitches. I can imagine you just find a way to make it work on a regular basis and are creative problem solvers, at least. I hope your team likes each other and regularly engages in office pranks, inside jokes or, at the very least, office tequila parties on Fridays.
Perhaps you go home frequently and surf Monster or Career Builder for a new job. Or, maybe, you casually research college programs in other fields like Stem Cell Researcher or Quantum Physics Professor—you know, easier jobs like that. Maybe you do this while holding a glass of wine and munching on Doritos. I certainly would.
I’m certain some of you have kids of your own, or want them some day. Has this job changed your view of parenting? Has it made you cynical? Or, has it made you more thankful, grateful and kind?
Here’s what I have to say to you today: thank you.
Our relationship with you ended this past June, but we kind of miss you. You see, my husband paid child support for his two boys, faithfully and without regard for job loss or financial difficulties, for eight years. For six years he paid a grand total of $1218 a month and a reduced amount of $250 (the difference between his amount and her amount) the last two years because of a change in custodial parenting.
That’s a grand total of $93,696 in child support.
My God, I think I need a minute…
I’ve been involved with you, dear Kern County Child Support Team, on the periphery since 2009. As the step-mom, I have no rights to information or payment schedules, no place in the court system, and no legal ties to our two boys. My husband handles all of the inquiries, payments, phone calls, flights to and from California and legal wrangling. I stand by and cheer from the sidelines. It’s not an easy thing to do.
Your team has been a big part of our life and you don’t even know it.
When my husband was fighting for visitation or a modification of child support and every time he was required to produce verification of his earnings, time after time after time, and every time he called for clarification on a procedure or amounts or addresses or information on which forms to fill out… you helped him.
You. Helped. Him. Every time. Without fail. Professionally and without delay.
You always answered the phone or, if necessary, promptly returned phone calls. A real live person assisted him, regardless of the question. You always called him “Mr. Craft” with an air of respect and dignity. Perhaps it was after you’d seen his payment record, after you realized that you were not talking to a “deadbeat dad” trying to get out of paying court-ordered funds. Maybe his dedication to supporting his boys, regardless of the strained relationship between himself and their mom, caused the lilt in your voice, tender understanding in your explanation.
Did you hear his desperation 2000 miles away on a crackly cell-phone connection a few years ago? I think you did.
This summer our relationship with you officially ended. Our oldest boy graduated from high school last summer and our younger son moved here with us in Minnesota in June, still two years left in the “system.” Instead of asking for child support from their mom, my husband declined, saying, “I just want my son. It’s not about the money.”
So, here we are, child support free for over two months. We received the change in child support order, effectively ending the child support relationship forever, a few weeks ago. Can I just tell you it was bittersweet?
My husband, not a writer or one to emote on issues such as this (hello, that’s my job, obviously), read the order and looked at me with a strange expression. He said, “we should write a letter to these people and thank them for their years of help. They always treated me with respect.”
Hand to God, that’s what he said, dear sweet Kern County Child Support Team.
With all of the negative press related to perpetuating stereotypes of cheap deadbeat dads and selfishly greedy moms, you’re smack in the middle of the rhetoric, taking bullets from each side. We appreciate your service. We benefited from your help.
We see you.
We see you just as you saw us—as real live people trying to do our best for the kids.
Please accept our sincere thanks for all that you do that is unseen, unrewarded and under-appreciated.
Rick and Jana Craft
Winona, MN
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Originally appeared on JanaCraft.com
The post We See You: An Open Letter to Our Child Support Agency appeared first on The Good Men Project.